I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
by Lady Douji
Summary: What does Duo really think about the Christmas Holiday


Quick disclaimer   
I own nothing   
Gwing is own by either Bandai or Sunrise I can't remember which   
This is just my personal interpretation and some may find it OOC.   
I Heard the Bells on Chrsimas Day is by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day 

  
"I heard the bells on Christmas Day   
Their old familiar carol play   
And wild and sweet the words repeat   
of Peace on Earth Good will to Men"

I hate Christmas, hate it with a passion you would never guess, but I do. The others seemed slightly surprised when I told them I didn't care about Christmas. Well Quatre was, he was the one who asked if I wanted to do anything, and I told him no. I guess he was just trying to be polite, thinking that with my time at the Maxwell Church, Christmas would be important to me, and I guess it would be if it didn't hurt so fucking MUCH.

So Christmas came and I found I couldn't stand to be around the other guys. I was in an absolutely miserable mood and didn't want them to see me that way. So I grabbed my coat, made a few jokes, and waltzed out the door before anyone could protest. And there I was, walking down empty streets on Christmas, everyone else was inside celebrating with family. Whoop-dee-doo for them.

Then I found myself outside a church. I don't know why I went in, I think I was just sick of the cold and wanted to get warm. 

"I thought as now this day had come   
the belfries of all Christendom   
had rung so long the unbroken song   
of Peace on Earth Good will to Men"

The sanctuary was empty. Christmas Mass had long since ended, and the priests were apparently off for some private celebration or ceremony. Prayer candles flickered at the feet of various saints, but mostly at the altar for the Virgin Mary and Christ Child.

  
"You should light a candle for them." a little voice inside me urged.   
"What for?" I snapped back. "There's no God to hear any prayers for them."   
"That's not what they believed," the voiced answered back, "and since this is for them it's what they believed that matters"   
There was a problem with that logic, but I couldn't tell what, and they would have liked me to light a candle for them, if only in remembrance, if not faith. So I pulled out two candles, lit them and placed them on the altar with the rest. For a long time I kneeled there staring at the candles. I could almost see Sister Helen's face, and the sadness in her eyes when I told her I didn't believe in God. And Father Maxwell, exasperation etched on his face as he dealt with the principal after my antics.   
I think it's because of them that I hate Christmas now. Because they believed, Christmas at the Maxwell Church was filled with a kind of laughter, and warmth, and light that I can only dream of now. And with them gone I can't celebrate Christmas, 'cause I don't believe. 

"And in despair I bowed my head   
'There's no peace on Earth' I said   
Hate is strong and mocks the song   
of Peace on Earth Good Will to Men"

My mind shifted to images of my fellow pilots. It was hard to tell what we were to each other. We fought for the same cause, and sometimes fought together, but if ordered we would fight each other. But there was something there, an understanding, a friendship perhaps. I felt an odd aura of warmth and love settle on either side of me, and tow voices whispered to me on a level I felt more than heard.

"You should be with your friends now"

And I was filled with a desperate need to be with the other pilots. I jumped up and raced out of the church, but as I reached the door I stopped and turned around, focusing my eyes, at the alter where I had been kneeling.

"Thank you," I was whispered, to whom I don't know, but it felt so right, "Thank you"

"Then the bells pealed more loud and deep   
'God is not dead, nor doth he sleep   
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail   
with Peace on Earth Good will to Men"

I ran all the way back to the safehouse. By the time I got there, my face must have been as red as a tomato from the cold and exertion. After taking a few moments to compose myself I walked inside. A wonderful smell wafted from the kitchen, so I wandered in there first. Trowa had been making hot cocoa, the real kind, not that powdered stuff from the store, and Quatre was arranging some mugs and snacks on a tray. Trowa was just leaning against the counter watching. I must have made some noise, because Quatre suddenly looked up at me.

"Hello Duo. Did you enjoy your walk" he asked pouring me a mug of cocoa.

"Yeah," I said, taking the mug, and letting it warm my chilled fingers. " I just need to get some air."

"That's good." He said finishing with the tray,"The others are in the living room arguing about what to watch"

And with that he picked up the tray and left, I followed with Trowa trailing behind. I thought I saw Trowa smile, but it was so quick I couldn't be sure.

By the time we got to the living room Heero and Wufei had decide on what we were going to watch, and we all pile onto the extra large couch Heero had found some where. I don't remember what we watched that night, probably some cheesy Christmas movie, what I do remember was that it was filled with laughter, warmth and light, and for the first time in a long time I didn't hate Christmas

Yay, my first finished fic. Much graditude, pocky, and neko Wufeis to my beta-reader MadamBlu. What do ya think?


End file.
